january continued . . . .

since 1997 i have never liked the month of january. its supposed to be a time of refresh, a month of change, order, resolution, happiness. we base an entire evening looking at a clock counting down, to the final second, for january. we cheer, we kiss, we hug, we smile, we hope for new beginings.
in january of 1997 i was young, only a freshman in high school, but i did these things. celebrated with my friends, my first year of high school. only 4 years left of childhood. i remember vividly that night. it was pretty great.

20 days later i lost my stepdad. left him in the morning, and never saw him again.

for the past 13 years not a january goes by, that i dont relive everyday of that month back in 97. however as the years to go by the burden gets lighter, the good comes from the bad, and the unhappy memories turn into only the good ones. until today.
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life is about living.

but what happens when you die? we live our lives recklessy. it starts almost from the begining. running on wet cement, riding bikes without helmets, eating god knows what from god knows where. and then we grow, we experiment with drugs and drinking, we drive when we know we shouldnt, we take risks because we think we should, or we dont think at all . . . and yet, we still live.

my january that i had worked so hard to regain, has once again fallen

today i lost a friend that rarely did any of the above. he worked hard, in his career and personal life. he was healthy, successful and an all around pleasure to be around, at any time, period.
his life was taken for unknown reasons. its hard to process, hard to understand. he had a presence that would stick with you after only one encounter. easily described by his booming deep voice. i often teased him and just made him say my name. a man of men. and now hes gone.
Joe you could never be forgotten. its been nearly ten years since i first met you, and over those years you always put a smile on my face everytime i saw you. i am one of many that was blessed to have you in my life. i know your voice is booming somewhere else making the ladies giggle. just as you did here.
xoxo