Fickle little guys

There's a lot of things in life that arent fair. Like when you give up your seat to an old man and he finds a 20 under it. Or when your mom buys your little brother a brand new BMW for his 16th birthday when all you got was your stepdads dads 87 buick century. Or like how the eff is Chuck Norris so bad ass and Im not? These are all things that Ive had to deal with. And thats fine, thats life
Ive heard it a lot that girls got the shit end of the stick in life when it comes to the big stuff.
Like, babies. UGH. why do we have to have babies? We have to get fat, grow a human, be responsible for 9 months in taking care of that little nugget, and then, oh lord then we have to push it out. omg. just the thought hurts me. not fair
And in the same realm of this baby nonsense is the period. I know its gross boys, you dont have to tell us. And its just straight annoying, once a month for multiple days. I mean seriously? it can really put a damper in your social life.
But, just like the chuck norris thing, ive come to terms with this and i deal with it.
Ill take a period over a penis anyday
penises
boners
is this something that boys really cant control?
Do they have to practice? I mean i get it when they are young. just coming into manhood and perhaps at this point its completly out of their control.
But like 30
30 comes along and you boys have been well acquainted with your junk for quite some time
Have you learned to keep it up? Or down for that matter. And further more, does whiskey really make a difference?
For the past few weeks Ive put a lot of thought into this. How annoying it must be for you guys. How unfair it is that its possibly something that you have to worry about. Like a hot chick happens to make out with another hot chick. Are you instantly aroused? Is it a case by case kinda deal?
So I decided to go to the source. My friend mike. You can read one of his blogs here http://idolthreats.blogspot.com/ , hes full of useless information. This is why i ask him. i know he'll shoot me straight. no phony answers, no embarrassment. and he summed it up quite well, "Boners are fickle"
Ive dealt with some boners in my time.
they are all different, sometimes theyre in your face when all you wanna do is sleep. and other times they are blacked out drunk do not disturb cant move a muscle when all you wanna do is, well, all you wanna do is bone.
I once knew this boy, a friend of mine, and one day we kissed. Instant boner. I thought it was funny and just brushed it off. Then sometime went by and we kissed again. Boner. And mind you this was public kissing. People around, standing up, laughter inbetween kind of kisses. But yet, the boner.
So some more time went by and we eventually made our way to the bedroom. Boner all night long. Morning comes. Boner. Kissing before we depart. Boner. I got to thinking. Its not me, its him.
What once had been flattering now seemed so generic. Like having Frank Turner sign your CD, "Love Frank" and then seeing your friends CD "Love Frank"
Like WTF you dont just have "Love" for me?
So theres that side of the situation. When it comes to this boy, all systems are a go.
then theres the flip side
I once dated a boy who was awesome. It wasnt the most sexual relationship but nonetheless, deeds went down every now and then. One night we were sitting on the couch and i had my legs draped accross him and all of the sudden i felt a little tap. tap. tap. TAP. Like oh my god. you just got a boner. so random.
with this same boy we would go out drinking, come home and have sex. no problems.
occasionally we would do a little extra partying. still. no problems.
then one night, nada. and when i say nada, i mean nada.
like a new born baby. nada
why is this. what was different this night. we consumed the same amount of alcohol. we partied to the extent that we had in the past. and nothing?
in this case i wondered. its not him, is it me?
needless to say that was the last time we hooked up.
On that same note, my exboyfriend was the complete opposite. He could party all night long. He could put the kitchen sink up his nose at 5 am and at 515, he was ready to go. And he would go, all. night. long.
sidenote: boys, although it may seem super hot if you can last for hours, in reality our bodies arent equiped to go for that long. FYI
anyways
so how does that work. how can one guy not be phased and one guy phases out?
mike just answered this question for me, without even knowing the subject at hand. He says that the way chemicals effect the little guys is completly random.
hmmm
Boners
so perplexing, so random, so not something i would ever wanna have to deal with. at least not on my own.
So ill keep researching this problem. In fact, my life is an ongoing science project dedicated to this problem.
and some day ill get to the bottom of it, from the top :)