ello ello ello ello vee eee

There have been multiple events in the past few weeks that have me constantly on edge. I dont sleep at night, but ill sleep all day. i either over eat or forget to eat. im always stressed, there seems to always be something to worry about. which is exactly why i moved here, to get away from that. Utah has proven to not be good for me. Never in such a short time in my life has so much gone wrong.
But i deal with it, its life, and im a lucky girl. i am beyond blessed in almost every aspect of my life. One of my major strengths as my blog makes obvious is my girlfriends. I talk to these girls everyday and they never fail to put a smile on my face. no matter how bad the day may be.
One of these girls inparticular, gets me everytime. Always such a little trooper, always happy, always loving life and loving me . . .but not loving LOVE
This drives me NUTS!!!
I LOVE love. always have, ive grown up in a family of women who feel the same way. its no secret, my mother and her love history. and as strange as 8 marriages might sound, to me its normal, it luck, its bad luck, its the constant pursiut of love. and at some point you look back and wonder. Is love pursuing me?
With Kelly it is. And homegirl is on the run.
Kelly and I are very much the same. We have so much in common sometimes its eerie. But when it comes to love and relationships we are very different.
from the time i was a little girl i have dreamed of my future husband, my wedding, my dress, my children, even my childrens children. Ive always had a crush. always had a boy by my side.. whether it was just for the night, or long term. I have had my heart broken, ive had it crushed as a matter of fact. Ive broken a heart, and ive been careless with many others, including my own.
Kelly, has never had a real love. never been a girlfriend. never had a heartbreak, or broken any. Theres days when im envious of this. god what it must like to not have to have that heaviness in your chest. the tears in your eyes.
But then i check myself. Amongst all of my heartaches and tears, i have become who i am. my character has been built, my personality distinguished, my self esteem, although put through the ringer, has been built up.
She doesnt believe in love. she believes in the common assumption that people confuse lust for love. but if youve never felt love, how can you even tell the difference.
ive felt both.
love is real
love is the best thing we do (in the wise words of none other than ashlee simpson)
My dream is for kelly to fall in love, and yes dare i say it, have her heart broken. Its necessary. to rise you must fall. in the end youll be greatful. and the next time that love comes around, it will seem that much more sweet and that much more right.
she doesnt have to look for it. it will find her. it finds us all. most of the time its unexpected. it creeps up and before you know it your mind and heart are consumed with the thought of just this one person. and you find yourself smiling at just the thought of them.
Kelly it can come at any moment. it could be the guy at table 16, it could be the cook at los arroyos, it could be the next tanning client at avia. So in the wise words of my grandma. Always put on your lipstick when the doorbell rings, you never know, the man standing on the other side of the door could be your next husband.