my pitch for kellys pitch (aka) hi guys! Im kelly, from santa barbara . . . .

Hi GUYS!!!!!
My name's Kelly, Im from Arcata CA, aka Burlville. I currently live in Santa Barbara and i am a gay man trapped in a females body. I highly resemble jim carrey and i act like him on the daily. and not intentionally. im just naturally really awkward. but it works for me. i mean it doesnt get me boyfriends or anything, but it gets laughs. I dont believe in love. but i do believe in unicorns and trolls. in fact i am a troll at heart.
I have an infectious laugh. "BAH" is the best way to describe it. its loud and unruly. just like me. i think that i would look really good on TV because real world never has a fat girl. and its like come on Bunim Murray, get with the times. we aint all skinny. especially me. I suppose that could be my pitch. Im the fat girl. Always funny, always purging.
I would also bring some prettiness to the show. not in the form of me, but of my friends. I basically have the worlds prettiest best friends. Ones from DC, dont mistake that, SHE IS FROM DC. and the other, is a wanna be playboy bunny that is now old and washed up with far fetched dreams. but still, theyre both really pretty




















like really pretty.
anyways. im a really happy little mexi nuggget. I was well behaved my entire life until im met 6 fabulous girls that changed my life.
now im super sexual and deviant.
but i never tell a lie.
I like tequila, red wine and gossip girl. I love carnita salads, and lots of modifications. I think id be good for this show because im different looking. native if you will. I have indian ancestory. and im not afraid to admit that. I am an EXCELLENT dancer. LIKE REALLY GOOD.
im kinda of smart, and a good massage therapist, although i like to be touched more than i like to touch.
my favorite color is nude, and my favorite song is birthday sex. i love soft things, and i sometimes forget what happened the night before. Ive been known to pass out while eating late night

amongst other things.
Im mexican. and i love chinese food, although it doesnt always agree with me. i go to the bathroom 18 times a day, and yet, i dont lose weight. im not afraid to fart on camera or make out with boys. but lesbihonest. ill be doing a lot more farting than kissing. so thats me in a nutshell.
please choose me.
im 22, ive only 3 years left. and lord knows ill never make into playboy.
Thank you
and good night