As girls we hear it time and time again, from our Mothers, our Grandmothers, our Aunts, our lesbian friends, "HOW CAN YOU WEAR SHOES THAT TALL?!" And as girls, we brush off their comments to old age, different generations, and butch like tendencies. And really its fine, I mean what's it to them what shoes I wear, how tall I am, how rediculous it is that my heel height is the same as my shoe length. Its all fun and games . . .
until someone gets hurt.
Case and Point: Moi
Lets do some math- Im 29 years old (hold for the gasp, I know, I dont look a day over 17) I started wearing heels roughly in about the 6th grade, which makes about 12 or 13. So lets round it out and say I have been wearing heels for roughly 17 years. More than half my life. Now in this time I havent so much as scraped my knees due to a sky high heel injury. Granted in some cases, my face may have hit the ground first. But thats neither here nor there. All in all, in my 17 fashionable years, I havent so much as got a hang nail due to the height of my shoes.
On April 4th 2012, that all changed . . .
I feel your pain buddy
After a lovely dinner celebrating a good friends 30th bday (SEE!! IM NOT THE OLDEST WOMAN ALIVE!) we headed out for a night cap. Of course one night cap turned into 3 but nevertheless we paid our tab and decided we would hit the town, I mean it was Wednesday after all, and the Lakers had just beat the Clippers, reason enough to celebrate right? We exited the restaurant got to the corner and waited for the light to change . . .GREEN LIGHT, and 6 babes step off the curb and strut across the street, 5 girls make it.
im the sixth girl
As I stepped up onto the curb only 35 feet from the curb I had just stepped off, my right shoe decided to take a break, and snap crackle pop, just like that, my first scabbed knee, scabbed hand, scabbed foot, SPRAINED ANKLE
I have never felt such pain in my life, and I wasnt even sure what had happened! Whats this pain?! A kidney stone? A migraine? Have I been shot? Who's the culprit!!??
Okay, okay, so maybe this wasnt the shoe, a girl can dream cant she? Besides admit it, it sparked a hint of jealousy in some of you . . . ANYWAYS at the time this blog went to post, all photos of the alleged shoe had been removed from their website . . . this may or may not be directly related to my hate mail post accident, but I guess we'll never know.
I had to be carried home that night
I had to be drugged that night
I cried till my eyes swoll themselves shut that night- Im not sure if I was crying due to the pain, or at the thought that I clearly misjudged these shoes. I trusted them! and they let me down. Literally.
Over the next week, I would hop around my house, fitting that it was easter weekend. I visited my sick grandmother in the hospital and nearly sent her over to the other side when I wheeled on through in a wheelchair (thank you Torrance Memorial)
I developed disgusting rashes under my arms from crutches, I had to expose un pedicured feet because I couldnt bare Peter, my nail tech, even looking at my deformed foot, and worst of all, I couldnt work, so I couldnt make money, so I couldnt shop. AND I JUST BOUGHT AN IMAC PEOPLE! I had all day to lay around shopping online, shopbop, nastygirl, nordstrom,urban, netapoter, all just to look at, with no funds . . .meanwhile, my bar shifts that I was forced to get covered were two of the best shifts ever. I believe this is where the saying FUCK. MY. LIFE. comes from. No?
But now, 2 weeks later I can disable my service bell app on my phone, http://smokinapps.com/app/dinner-bell/ - ladies get this if youre ever injured, and sit here, on my new IMAC, and blog about my misfortune, while wearing a walking boot, YAY FOR THE WALKING BOOT! My 86 year old grandmother could beat me in a foot race, but alas, I can walk. Therefore I can work. Therefore I can shop. Therefore, dont shoot me
lol funny story
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