Dirty, or looks dirty

Day four of no gas.
Not Kelly Villegas kind of gas, but actual gas. Or something like that. I am a lot of things, but handy around the house is not one of them. It took me these 4 days to realize something wasnt right. Yes, I am that girl who let water run for 10 minutes before i realized it wasnt getting hot. Then did the same thing later that day, and then again the next day. Until my genius of a brother said, "its probably the water heater." Utah schools are clearly better than California's
Its Monday. The last time I showered? Thursday
i know right!? So gross. It wasnt my intention of just being dirty for 4 days. I mean if Im being honest, I showered Thursday morning, then i went out. drank a little, danced in a sweaty club to a white reggae band and then slept in bed with a boy who, dare I say it, prolly hasnt showered in a few days either.ummmmmmm. awkward. Friday comes, no hot water .No biggie, ill just spray some perfume, load up on deodorant. However it was pretty hot at work that day, and i was wearing a long sleeved collared shirt. it was also perfect hiking weather that evening, so i ventured into the woods. I was tired when I got home, so I figured, what the hey! Ill just shower manana.
WELP, the next day came and I turned the water on. I let it run, ice cold, i waited, frickin freezing. Way to cold to shower. This is rigth about when the light bulb went off over my brothers head.
FUCK
WElP, hopefully no one at work smells anything funky. So i washed my face, slicked back my do and got dressed. My brother was supposed to take care of the situation.
*note to self: do not rely on 21 year old siblings of the male gender to take care of anything.Needless to say, I got home that night and the water was still cold.
So now its Saturday, I have to work and Im officially dirty. like, I can smell myself dirty. not cool. not sexual.
So i opt for the only thing i can think of. I soak a washcloth, strip down and start rubbin my body. Is this ok?
I figure, I like dirty boys, so shouldnt they like a dirty girl? Or do i like boys that just look dirty. And i dont wanna be a girl that just looks dirty . . .EFF.
Quite a predicament. None the less, i finish with my cloth and stick my head in the kitchen sink and attempt to wash my hair. Removable nozzles on kitchen faucets. GENIUS!
And at the end of all this.
i look good
and smell ok