Saturday, July 24, 2010

I should prolly learn to keep my mouth shut


Working at the spa today. Always a good time. i love love love my job. Our owner has been in a lot more lately. Shes 8 months preggers and we are all so excited for the birth! Her and her boyfriend decided to not know the sex of the baby until the big day. so there has been lots of talk of baby names going on. I love her boyfriend. Englishman with a scottish accent. He and i joke around a lot. We have talked a lot about names for the child. From Reemus to Sadaf. Nigel to Levi. all kinds. Today he walks in wearing a shirt that says "DONINGTON" I say "whats donington?" he replies in a scotts accent "its what were gonna name the bebe" ME- "BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAA"
HIM- SILENCE
MY HEAD - omg FUCK SHIT BALLS IS HE SERIOUS!!
HIM- "you cant say that kami, what if i was serious!?"
WHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
dodged a bullet with that one. but none the less it got me thinking of all the stupid foot in mouth moments ive experienced in the past months. starting with "OMG and your little nugget friend thats a virgin!?"

story goes like this
Wednesday night. Just your typical humpday. Worked in the lounge it was crazy busy so of course i needed a drink and a dance to cool my jets. Kelly and Rosalyn come in. we have some drinks and head to whiskeys. *sidenote* Whiskey Richards is no longer a lair for trolls and fix speed riding nazis. its actually a pretty hip little joint with sexuals and a photobooth.
Back to the grind. So we have a few drinks at whiskeys and by a few, i mean a lot. too much. a FEW too many. we get over it head to sandbar. $3 dollar cover. cross the street and stroll into Statemynt. Teds bartending and there are 3 characters at the bar. we down a couple hornitos and hit the dance floor. Shakin and struttin our stuff, the littlest guy of the group at the bar gets up and starts dancing with us. we freak nasty all over him in a bubble of laughter and his friends yell out "AY YO LADIES HES A VIRGIN!!
In typical Kami fashion i strut straight up to him, work my thickness down his body and come up and grab his striped white button down and RIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP. Buttons flying, girls laughing, boys jaws dropping. and then, just as quick as we came in . . .we left!
Flashfoward 24 hours. Im working in the lounge once again hangin by the bar chattin with john thomas downey. theres 3 guys at the bar that keep staring at me. again in typical kami fashion my bubbies are out to get so i dont really question why they are staring.
finally one of the guys says "hey where do i know you from" after throwing around some places we might have met, he yells out "STATEMYNT!!!" and i say " oh ya!!! we were dancing and i ripped your little nugget virgin friends shirt off"

the guy next to him looks up "HEY THAT WAS ME! I aint no virgin!"

insert foot, in mouth

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Sex Hugs Punk Rock and Trolls - in other words. Home Sweet Home

Theres this little town located somewhere between San Diego and San Francisco. Its small. Sandy. Beautiful. Breezy. Its my home. I have been back here for just about 4 weeks now. I left a place that wasnt for me. And found my heart still here, still beating. It was a small adjustment getting here and getting settled. But in typical santa barbara fashion everything fell right into place. everyone lent out a hand to help me out. everyone smiled at me and for me from the day my plane set down.
It as well has been a hilarious adventure of the old kind. A group of perfect best friends living there lives in stride, up to no good and all good at the same time. boyfriends to hookups, breakups to what the fucks. new friends. new homes. the passing of energies. the annoyance of the loss of my mojo. the finding of my mojo. traveling soldiers. foreigners sleeping like sardines. pillow rooms. troll lairs. good friends reliving there glory days. beautiful men reliving them with me. family dinners. beach days. bronzing goddesses. laughter so loud the neighbors could complain. smiling till your cheeks feel like they might break off. strolling state street. warm embraces from old friends. cant go a block in this town with out meeting new boys or catching up with the old. date nights. happy hours. lesbian jokes. jokes on the lesbians. cats outta the bag chatter. and all of this in a days work. Its just the begining of summer.

and im home