Wednesday, June 16, 2010


PS. Ive since showered
good as new :)

Monday, June 14, 2010

Dirty, or looks dirty





Day four of no gas.
Not Kelly Villegas kind of gas, but actual gas. Or something like that. I am a lot of things, but handy around the house is not one of them. It took me these 4 days to realize something wasnt right. Yes, I am that girl who let water run for 10 minutes before i realized it wasnt getting hot. Then did the same thing later that day, and then again the next day. Until my genius of a brother said, "its probably the water heater." Utah schools are clearly better than California's
Its Monday. The last time I showered? Thursday
i know right!? So gross. It wasnt my intention of just being dirty for 4 days. I mean if Im being honest, I showered Thursday morning, then i went out. drank a little, danced in a sweaty club to a white reggae band and then slept in bed with a boy who, dare I say it, prolly hasnt showered in a few days either.ummmmmmm. awkward. Friday comes, no hot water .No biggie, ill just spray some perfume, load up on deodorant. However it was pretty hot at work that day, and i was wearing a long sleeved collared shirt. it was also perfect hiking weather that evening, so i ventured into the woods. I was tired when I got home, so I figured, what the hey! Ill just shower manana.
WELP, the next day came and I turned the water on. I let it run, ice cold, i waited, frickin freezing. Way to cold to shower. This is rigth about when the light bulb went off over my brothers head.
FUCK
WElP, hopefully no one at work smells anything funky. So i washed my face, slicked back my do and got dressed. My brother was supposed to take care of the situation.
*note to self: do not rely on 21 year old siblings of the male gender to take care of anything.Needless to say, I got home that night and the water was still cold.
So now its Saturday, I have to work and Im officially dirty. like, I can smell myself dirty. not cool. not sexual.
So i opt for the only thing i can think of. I soak a washcloth, strip down and start rubbin my body. Is this ok?
I figure, I like dirty boys, so shouldnt they like a dirty girl? Or do i like boys that just look dirty. And i dont wanna be a girl that just looks dirty . . .EFF.
Quite a predicament. None the less, i finish with my cloth and stick my head in the kitchen sink and attempt to wash my hair. Removable nozzles on kitchen faucets. GENIUS!
And at the end of all this.
i look good
and smell ok

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Party at the Cemetary? At least I'm dressed appropriately


Just when I thought Utah couldnt get any more weird. Memorial Day 2010 was unlike any other for me. Normally days like that mean i get to stay in bed, horribly hungover from the day/night before. However since i live in the lameshine state at the moment, there would be no such thing. Instead my Sunday was replaced with 8 hours of boring work and my hangover with a ride to the beautiful city of Ogden, where I'd be in for quite a spectacle. And what a spectacle it was. At none other than, THE CEMETARY.
Now, I know that Memorial Day is all about honoring the dearly departed. Especially those that have served our country. And I have known a few, and I have remembered them on a daily basis, and I did remember them this day. So this blog isnt to offend anyone. It is to find humor in the situation that was posed. As one of the graves I visited was my stepdads, and I KNOW he would have got a kick out of what was going on just 6 feet above his resting place.
Because my stepdad is buried there, the Ogden Cemetary is one that I have frequented over the years. But never on Memorial Day. As we exit the freeway my mom pulls into a line of cars about 100 long
this is the line to ENTER!!!
Half an hour later we finally make it in, recieve a map from some old lady who looks days away from being here permanantly, and we begin to search for parking.
This is where it really gets weird.

Yes ladies and gents, that is a concession stand. at the cemetary. offering a variety of cupcakes, chips and soft drinks.
I couldnt believe it. But i couldnt ignore it. So i grabbed a cupcake and a diet coke. Just like the fatties that order no mayo, extra ranch. irony
Now speaking of cupcakes, As i stated in my previous blog, i attended a show of a friends band just a few days prior to my cemetary adventure. As i was getting ready this morning, i though, "OOH! ill wear my new shirt"
Picture me now, walking through a cemetary sporting a shirt that reads, DEAD COUNTRY. wow kami, way to state the obvious. The only thing that could have been more awkward would have been if I wore one of Mike's, MURDERLAND . . .
So as we continue to walk through, i am baffled by the party that is going on, bands playing, old cars parkin, and not parking on the street mind you, cars were actually parking ON THE GRASS!!!
like WTF, its bad enough people are unloading picnic baskets and kids are playing tag, and now cars who cant find parking are just pulling up on the grass. CRIPES. i think ill be cremated, thanks!







































eventually we find my stepdads grave, amongst all the morman muffins and french braids.
we kneel down and clear his headstone, place flowers and i cant help but get a little choked up. for a moment the chaos around me goes silent and its just me and him. i remember his never ending stories, his jokes, his booming voice, his sneezes that would scare me through the roof. and i smile. i know he knows im there and i know he loves it. my thoughts are blurred and i close my eyes, just remembering, and truly feeling that i was beyond blessed to have this man in my life as a father figure for the time i did. i was anything but a good teenager and he handled it like no one could have.
my meditative state is then shattered when my grandma leans down, drops some roses and says "see ya soon Roger!"
GRANDMA!! does the woman realize what she just said!? like welp, im about to hit it. meet you in the after life. geez. the older you get . . .
we walked back to the car and i couldnt help but talk about all these people, laughing crying, eating, all at the cemetary. it was so strange to me. and my mom looks over at me as a i snap a shot of a band, and says "youre the one in a dead country tee taking pictures on an iphone, whos the real creep here"
point taken.



love you Roger. miss you everyday