Friday, May 28, 2010

icing on cupcakes. words with friends. a night with DEAD COUNTRY





















This little llama went to dead country yesterday.
actually i guess that part falls somewhere in the middle of the story. so ill start from the get go.
it was a cold and windy wednesday night. . . .



So pat texts me wednesday to give me the greatest news of the week! he tells me dead country is playing SLC thursday night. effen rad. couldnt have been happier if i never grew a hair in my armpits again.
so thursday comes around and the boys show up, from a long drive outta denver. dirty, sweaty, actually pretty sexual looking. picture 4 boys of this nature sitting around on my white suede sectional.with asian accents on the table as they watched their own music video on their mac. which by the way is awesome. lucky girl am i.
So i washed a load of laundry for them and they all took turns gettin in the showers. Luckily i have 2!
Pat went in
Jonny went
Pat came out
Jarrod went in
Jarrod came out
Nick Pat Jarrod and I sat and talked . . .
. . .
. . .
. . .
Jonny came out, oddly looking the exact same as when he went in
and then it was nicks turn.
all eyes on Nick.
"nah, im not gonna shower, i feel fine"
insert 4 voices in reasoning tones letting nick know the benefits of the shower.

"THE SHOWER INTERVENTION"


He caves. goes up stairs. we hear the water turn on. 5 minutes - - - -water turns off.
we all look at each other.
remember when you were little and didnt wanna brush your teeth, or wash your hands? so youd just go in the bathroom, close the door and turn on the water?
pretty sure that was nicks game yesterday.
nonetheless.
i cheered when he came down the stairs.
so the boys debate on bbq or not
we opt for greek. go figure
we head to the venue, check it and scatter to the restaurant.
nick jonny and jarrod - law abiding citizens, wait for the walk sign. pat and i, charge on

SLC READERS BEWARE!
when ordering a gyro at Souvlaki be sure to get the PLATE not the combo
For the wonderful price of $8.08 you can get
a gyro, rice and beverage
OR
a gyro, rice, fries, fry sauce, and a salad.
if you can tell me how that makes sense, ill buy your next meal, or ill just give eight dollars and eight cents.
as we eat i fake reporter the boys. for every 11 words i speak they speak 3 combined.
we talk a little about donuts but when the time comes, we pussy out.
as we walk back to the URBAN LOUNGE a small critter runs through the bushes. not a big deal, just a




















oh and i should mention that jonny was a super sport. considering his meal came out as we were finishing ours.

Moving forward.

We arrive at the venue.
The LAKERS win in dramatic fashion.
I turn Nick onto WWF (words with friends) if you dont know now you know
we play each other while sitting next to each other. except of course for the moment when pat says nicks taking a shit as my phone simultaneously lights up that nick has made a move. gross. but multi tasking. ima fan of that
we grab some chairs and sit around a table

we talk about cheek pinching which instantly turned me off of the first band. they could have sounded like Against Me! and i wouldnt have listened. asshole front man pinchin cheeks.
who does that
and who does that while wearing skinny jeans with cowboy boots.

and then this little llama went to dead country.
If you get anything from this blog, I hope it be new music. I hope it be this band.

BECAUSE THEYRE FUCKING RADICAL

8 songs that went by way to fast. 4 super rad people on stage playing theyre little hearts out.
i wear 5 inch gold hoops and false eyelashes.
i watch gossip girl and sometimes i like an umbrella in my drink
and i love this band. so check em out at
http://www.myspace.com/deadcountryla
and ladies. they were featured on the hills. NBD

Because im a nice girl. i wont dealve into one focus of the night.ill just insert some words to help you understand.
loud
embarassing
pats my ex bf
awkward comments
drunk
drugs?
chokeholds


but at the end of the day, the night was about these boys. and their music. and i suppose my convos with cupcake werent all that bad.
- CC, no shaved heads and likes to hold hands.

I love music. im lucky enough to have good friends that have introduced me to so many rad bands. and its the icing on the cupcake when the artists are your friends :)

and just a side note.
as i was in the crowd i could help but notice a strong resemblence.
you be the judge. pat and i already agreed, next to smoking popes, jonas is the shit























and ps
thank you pat for believing i was small enough to fit in a girls XS preshrunk. cause i am. REALLY skinny. the snake just looks fat

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

my pitch for kellys pitch (aka) hi guys! Im kelly, from santa barbara . . . .




Hi GUYS!!!!!
My name's Kelly, Im from Arcata CA, aka Burlville. I currently live in Santa Barbara and i am a gay man trapped in a females body. I highly resemble jim carrey and i act like him on the daily. and not intentionally. im just naturally really awkward. but it works for me. i mean it doesnt get me boyfriends or anything, but it gets laughs. I dont believe in love. but i do believe in unicorns and trolls. in fact i am a troll at heart.
I have an infectious laugh. "BAH" is the best way to describe it. its loud and unruly. just like me. i think that i would look really good on TV because real world never has a fat girl. and its like come on Bunim Murray, get with the times. we aint all skinny. especially me. I suppose that could be my pitch. Im the fat girl. Always funny, always purging.
I would also bring some prettiness to the show. not in the form of me, but of my friends. I basically have the worlds prettiest best friends. Ones from DC, dont mistake that, SHE IS FROM DC. and the other, is a wanna be playboy bunny that is now old and washed up with far fetched dreams. but still, theyre both really pretty




















like really pretty.
anyways. im a really happy little mexi nuggget. I was well behaved my entire life until im met 6 fabulous girls that changed my life.
now im super sexual and deviant.
but i never tell a lie.
I like tequila, red wine and gossip girl. I love carnita salads, and lots of modifications. I think id be good for this show because im different looking. native if you will. I have indian ancestory. and im not afraid to admit that. I am an EXCELLENT dancer. LIKE REALLY GOOD.
im kinda of smart, and a good massage therapist, although i like to be touched more than i like to touch.
my favorite color is nude, and my favorite song is birthday sex. i love soft things, and i sometimes forget what happened the night before. Ive been known to pass out while eating late night

amongst other things.
Im mexican. and i love chinese food, although it doesnt always agree with me. i go to the bathroom 18 times a day, and yet, i dont lose weight. im not afraid to fart on camera or make out with boys. but lesbihonest. ill be doing a lot more farting than kissing. so thats me in a nutshell.
please choose me.
im 22, ive only 3 years left. and lord knows ill never make into playboy.
Thank you
and good night

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

it. must. be the ass


In the profound words of Jennifer Lopez and JaRule "aint it funnaay" Back from Santa Barbara. A quick weekend of weddings, sushi, laughter, tritips, laker losses, and a little bit of booze ;) but really, it is funny. The last time i went back to sb was the very begining of January. Of course even then i had only been gone for two months, but i was still ecstatic to see my friends and family. but when i left, i was okay with it. not too sad, not happy but not devastated. this time. DEPRESSED. i cried, i laughed, i cried, i ate chorizo, and laughed some more. and over this chorizo breakfast i had a fabulous talk with my dad. and decided that home really is not only where your heart is but where your friends are, where your dad is, where a fat little shnauzer named shotzie resides. for me, thats Santa Barbara. took me 6 1/2 tortuous months to realize i can make a life for myself there. if i could get past my partyllama ways. and i can. i will. so a weekend of drinking and dancing and smiling from the depths of my soul to the curves of my now infamous 10 sizes bigger of a butt, all this turned into me realizing where i belong and who i should be. aint that funny

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

just this little guy hangin out all weekend


So Im head to SANTA BARBARA manana!!!!!!
asdlkfjwe4o82abgdsabhry#$^$%Y(AFVafekgtj[03q8t6u
thats code for FUCK YES!
i normally dont like to curse in my blog in the case that some small child gets a hold of a computer and stumbles accross it. Children like animals, perhaps one my google llama. and WHAM up comes the llama blog. fuck shit boners burt. ugh. just awful.
So although i just saw 7 amazing girls 2 weeks ago, i couldnt be more excited to see them again. although we will be minus two.
moment of silence for Brin and Jenny






okay.
it will be a fast weekend.
gossip is sure to flow like crown at the lounge on a sunday night
laughter will be louder than an ashlee simpson love song
and feet will be dancing like alex gallup in a tyler perry movie
theres just one thing
theres all us girls
and one big elephant that will be standing in the room

Friday, May 14, 2010

always a bridesmaid, no really, im ALWAYS a bridesmaid.


i am 27 years old.
tomorrow i will be a bridesmaid in my little sisters wedding. this will be the 5th time.
thats right the FIFTH time. granted two of the times were in weddings of my black widow mother. but none the less, i sported and ugly gown, carried a boquet, and hit on banquet bartenders as a minor.
i was a bridesmaid.
i worry that this is my lifes destiny.
not that im itching to get married. but i see poison ivy down the road and i forgot to bring calamine lotion.
tonight i was sitting and watching my sister and soon to be brother in law, and i found myself envious of them.
im not a jealous person, never have been. especially of other peoples relationships. but i must admit i felt a sharpness in my spine when i looked at them. i felt the same way in hendervegas when i watched tasha and mike.
i am kami punzal.
i am not this girl.
but am i becoming?
after i raged my black panties off, litterally, in vegas, i came home and thought . . . that was fucking awesome. that was a really good party. i was a really drunk girl. and thats entertaining to my friends. but . . .
but i think im done with that for now.
you dont get serious over a girl like that
you dont daydream over girls like that. and really all us girls really want is for a boy to get lost in thought at some point in the day about us.
and i realized. i really am. not. this. girl.

but i wanna be

this little llama might be growin up
this little llama might be seeing the error of her ways
this little llama realizes boys dont wanna slut
this little llama doesnt want anymore bad days
this little llama
this little llama
this little llama
wants a boyfriend??